The Power of Humility
Notes on Humility
Deep Life Notes | Humility
In a world of ego, speed and smart machines, humility allows us to stay open, stay useful, and keep learning.
Author C. S. Lewis once said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself. It is thinking of yourself less.” I’m sure he had certain people in mind when he said it. Perhaps those whose inflated sense of self-importance made them arrogant. This is the interesting dynamic of ego.
Ego is our own sense of self-esteem and self-importance, and a healthy dose of ego is important. It allows us to genuinely appreciate our strengths, accept our imperfections, and feed into our willpower during challenging moments.
But when ego becomes unregulated, it makes us feel superior to others, justifying certain behaviours. This can be fatal for both the individual and wider society. History has many examples.
When we better regulate and balance our ego, we create the space for humility. Humility is the quality of having a modest view of our own importance.
Humility allows us to lower our defences and keep an open mind. We can know our worth and what we stand for, while still recognising there is more to understand in the people around us and the world at large. At its best, humility creates more understanding, less judgement, and better ways of working with others.
In a society that’s never felt more hyper-aggressive and centred on the self, this seems like a timely reminder of the power of humility. There’s another reason humility may be especially useful right now.
We are in the Smart Machine Age.
Humility in the Smart Machine Age
In their 2017 book, Humility Is The New Smart, Edward Hess and Katherine Ludwig made the case that humility will become an essential professional quality in our Smart Machine Age. Their argument is that more humility, not less, may serve us better in the years ahead.
This is because technologies like artificial intelligence, machine learning, and robotics enable machines to increasingly perform complex tasks and more routine-based work. Jobs we used to do. A 2018 study by the OECD found nearly half the jobs in the 32-country study were vulnerable to automation.
But our new age of smart machines also presents opportunity. Some forms of work still draw on what is distinctly human. This includes critical thinking, emotional engagement, working with others, and creative practices. These are all closely connected to humility. And it’s why Hess and Ludwig consider humility such a vital quality.
The question, then, is what humility looks like in ordinary professional and personal life.
Clearing the path for others
In our professional lives, we often work for others. Some may think the type of tasks we’re given are beneath us, and this creates the supposed indignity of serving someone else. But this can miss the point. This type of apprenticeship model created some of the greatest art in the world. Both Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci began as apprentices to older, more seasoned artists.
Clearing the path for others is not always glamorous, but it can build trust, competence, and reputation over time. When someone asked comedian Steve Martin how to become a famous comedian, he said, “Be so good they can’t ignore you.” He was talking about essential career building blocks, such as:
Doing work to a consistently high standard
Sharing ideas with others
Noticing better ways to do things
Finding interesting people and connecting them
Working with focus and deliberation
Recognition and rewards are not always in our control. The work itself usually is though. There is humility in doing the useful thing well, even when no-one is watching. And often, the person who clears the path can help shape its direction.
Widening the perspective
When we’re told we’re important, successful, or powerful, ego tells us that being the centre of attention is the only way to matter. Material success also plays well to the ego. We lose sight of core life questions, like Who am I? What is my purpose in this world? We feel empty because we’re disconnected from both the past and the future. The world doesn’t revolve around us, despite what we may think. This goes for organisations as well as individuals.
Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson has argued it’s possible to recognise how small you are, but also how large you are because you’re connected to the universe and the universe is connected to you. Many influential leaders and thinkers throughout history have gone on their own journey “into the wilderness” and come back with inspiration and a more formed philosophy of life. By widening their perspective, they could see more: the things that mattered.
There is something useful in that widened perspective.
It helps to remember how much came before us. We are no more special than our ancestors, despite all our material wealth. Staying grounded means accepting we are part of something much larger, and that our role is smaller than the ego likes to imagine.
Assume someone might know something you don’t
Carl Rogers, the twentieth century psychologist, said, “the great majority of us cannot listen, because listening is too dangerous. The first requirement is courage, and we do not always have it.” Rogers recognised the ego at play, hearing only what we want to hear, instead of being open to learning.
Rogers suggested an experiment. It’s a difficult experiment to imagine around a dinner table.
Set the following rules. After someone has spoken on a subject, the next person can only speak after they have restated the ideas and feelings of the previous speaker accurately, and to that speaker’s satisfaction.
This approach lets us genuinely understand what the person is saying, creating empathy, while also stopping the oversimplification or distortion of someone’s argument. We also give ourselves the opportunity to find value in the person’s ideas, learning something new, or if we still don’t agree, hone our positions against them, but done from a newfound place of understanding.
Listening with the intent to understand, rather than simply reply, is one of the clearest signs of humility. It begins with a simple possibility: the person opposite us may know something we don’t.
Remain a student
It is hard to keep learning if we are convinced we already know enough. Constructive and critical feedback can be uncomfortable because it threatens the ego’s preferred story that we are already right, already capable, and already complete.
Frank Shamrock was a mixed martial arts pioneer and multiple world champion who created the ‘Plus, Minus and Equal’ system. He used it to train his fighters. To become great, each fighter needed to have someone better they could learn from, someone lesser they could teach, and someone equal they could challenge themselves against. The system enabled each fighter to get real and continuous feedback about what they know and what they don’t know.
Shamrock himself said, “False ideas about yourself destroy you. For me, I always stay a student. You have to use the humility as a tool.”
The student mindset applies to everyone, irrespective of age, title, or profession. The mindset asks us to appreciate what came before, pay attention to what is happening now, and stay open to what comes next.
What failures can teach us
We don’t like to talk about failures. But only ego thinks embarrassment or failure are more than what they are. Often, failures make us who we are. They build courage and resilience.
In 2002, I failed my professional exams. At night class, I was studying for a Postgraduate Diploma in marketing. I had heard the exams were notoriously difficult and made the classic mistake of over-studying. The result was a spectacular failure.
I wanted to walk away. It was my Dad who said, “It’s ok if you really want to walk away, but if you do want to get this qualification, try and find a different approach”. It was great advice. I discovered the Mind Map method of Tony Buzan and applied this to my revision and preparation. And while the exams weren’t any easier, the fresh approach meant I was far more relaxed and confident. I passed the exams and got my diploma.
Thinking of ourselves less
A world with more humility seems like a good world to me. It’s within each of us and we have many examples from history and present-day. It’s not always easy, the ego can be strong sometimes. We won’t always get it right, and as always, we need to find the balance.
I recently learned General George C. Marshall refused to write a diary while commanding the Allied Forces during World War II. Marshall, the United States’ first five-star general, was worried it would turn his quiet, reflective time into something deceptive; that he would start second-guessing tough decisions out of concern for his reputation and future readers. He was there to win the war. Not showcase himself. It reminded me of the C. S. Lewis quote.
Marshall didn’t think less of himself. He thought of himself less.
Humility has a bigger canvas than ourselves in mind. It asks us to put the work, the people around us, and the larger purpose ahead of our own performance of importance.
That seems like an example worth remembering. It is undeniably human.
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